Balancing Act

It’s a quarter till, my shoe laces tied, gym bag packed, ready for Zumba class, and I am wolfing down a Hershey’s candy bar as if it’s my last meal.  No, I’m not trying to give myself an excuse to workout harder – having diabetes is a good enough excuse for that. My blood sugar is a jittery 55 and I feel that at any moment I could drop to the floor if I don’t eat something.

One of the first things I learned about blood sugar was that food made it go up and exercise and insulin made it go down.  I know it sounds simple, but keeping the balance between up and down is tricky and often frustrating. Since I’m about to exercise for over an hour, I know that I need food to get my blood sugar up to a level comfortable enough for me to workout.  In a hurry to get to the gym and to get my blood sugar up, I consume the entire candy bar so fast, I barely even taste it.

There is no other feeling like a hypoglycemic episode. When I went to college and told my roommate that I had diabetes, I told her that sometimes my blood sugar might drop, and that when it did, I might appear to be drunk or just plain out-of-it. Typical low symptoms for me are shakiness, loss of focus and concentration, extreme hunger, and that “I’m going to pass out” feeling. This episode is no different. I feel like every bit of me is trembling, inside and out. My body is telling me to eat something as my mind wanders elsewhere.

Although I have never passed out from a low, (knock on wood), the fear of that happening never goes away. What if I passed out at the gym? How would they know that I’m diabetic? I’d hope that they’d notice my insulin pump. I’d hope that I remembered to wear my medical ID bracelet. How would they know who to contact? I keep my emergency info in my gym bag but what if they couldn’t find my bag in a room amongst everyone else’s? It’s hard to think about all of these what if’s but like everything else in life, all I can do is be prepared.

Before heading to the car, I throw out the Hershey’s wrapper then check to make sure I have candy and my blood sugar meter in my gym bag. My blood sugar has risen to a comfortable 132. My body feels steady again, balanced and ready for my workout and whatever else lies ahead.