Diabetes: 0, Fear: 1

Sometimes, I take things too seriously. I have a tendency to over-analyze a lot of things, letting my thoughts create something that isn’t real. In some ways, I am embarrassed of my last blog entry in that I let the fear get the best of me. But when the Gastroenterologist told me yesterday that he admired how well I was handling having diabetes and celiac disease, I realized that I cannot feel self-conscious of my own honest and true feelings. I cannot be embarrassed of researching symptoms, playing out the scenarios in my mind, being proactive about my health.

I think the Dr. was impressed that I was interested enough in my health to do the research on my symptoms. He said that most people he sees that are facing the same challenges as I am, are “mad at the world and feeling sorry for themselves”, (I’m guessing he didn’t read my last blog entry).  Thinking of my last entry, I said to him, “I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s very frustrating and difficult”. And some days it is. Last blog entry was just one of those days.

Diabetes is no joke. It is not something to take lightly. Sure, I could relax a little bit and try not to worry until there’s a legitimate reason to. But with this disease, I have to stay hands on even if it means researching the tough, “can’t go there”, stuff like gastroparesis.

I’m happy to report that the Dr. does not think that I have what I feared. He gave me some medication to alleviate the heart burn and nausea, in hopes that it will help with other symptoms I am having. We talked about gastroparesis and how harsh the medication for this is on someone’s body, causing muscle twitching and cardiac problems.

This is one of those “can’t go there” moments but we went there and instead of feeling fear, I felt inspired.  Inspired to continue researching, to continue to be proactive, to continue to fight this disease, to overcome the challenges I’ve been given.